Quitting Smoking

I have tried to quit smoking twice now.

Did cold turkey once. Did vaping the second time. The second time, it stuck for three months and I dropped right back into it over a crazy drama filled explosion.

I talked to my friend Adam who told me of a book that his father read and once he put it down, he never touched another cigarette. Before I could order it, Adam mailed it to me.

If you wanna quit smoking, I highly recommend this book. It’s from an actual ex-smoker, not a doctor or someone to use scare tactics to get you to quit. Out of the 6 million quitters, he hasn’t been able to cure five people. This author also quit from smoking six packs a day which is way more than I do.

He’s realistic. He gets that quitting smoking is really difficult. But, he constantly asks one question:

Why do you smoke?

At first I was like, stress. It chills me out. To which, the next paragraph basically thwarted that idea. He stops a lot of tales from quitting makes you gain weight to all the reasons you smoke and how false it is. 

I needed to get this out not on social media but to my three readers here (hello three readers!)

The whole thing is mental. I just have to keep remembering that smoking doesn’t calm my stress. It gives me stress. Smoking isn’t cool. It’s disgusting.

Tomorrow is the day. You have to set a date for this. He encourages you to keep smoking till you finish the book (which I did) and then set a specific date in a low stress environment or where I would be tempted.

Today is my last day as I will be at a BBQ with friends who are smokers. 

I literally can’t run as hard at Crossfit. I hate the feeling. It ends tomorrow. 

Fatshaming/Fitshaming/Skinnyshaming: A Discussion


(Note: I am not here to tell you that you’re too fit, too skinny, too fat, etc. This is your body. Not mine. This is just a discussion of what I have experienced on my end of things.)

My friend Bri wrote a blog post today about her journey and the bumps she has run into when being with other people. Bri has experienced Skinnyshaming and Fitshaming. I am here to discuss both with special guest, Fatshaming.

Most of my life (after High School) I have been overweight. A long time ago, I didn’t even see myself as being overweight. I was happy. I was curvy. There was nothing wrong with me. I started to get into the idea of being overweight wasn’t a bad thing. I was young and had years on my life so why should it be a problem?

This is when I experienced Fatshaming. It is 100% real in society and people experience it so very often. I was called aggressively and passive aggressively every derogatory word for fat that you can think of. I became so upset by it, that I refused to be healthy out of spite.

But, the more I researched, the more I found out there were other kinds of shaming. Fitshaming seemed like something people didn’t do, really. But, Skinnyshaming was just as real as Fatshaming. A lot of my friends would grok at skinny people, saying that they made fat people look bad. For a while, I joined in. That’s until my friend Heidi cleared that up really quick.

Heidi is a beautiful, slender girl who is hilarious, amazing, and intelligent. When Heidi pointed out that there was Skinnyshaming, I watched all of it happen at once. People would tell her to eat something or tell her she’s too skinny and some people even said she looked anorexic. Heidi just has fast metabolism. And she looks really great. But, people constantly railed her for her slender frame.

When I started Crossfit, I didn’t think that I would understand Fitshaming. I thought it was a myth. Something that would never happen. I surrounded myself with so many amazing people from Crossfit that I didn’t notice.

That is, until my husband started discussing that he was doing it.

My husband (and may the gods bless him) friends people at random on social media with no intent of filtering them out or unfriending them. If someone is mean to him, he lets it roll of his shoulder.

“You’re going to kill/hurt yourself!”

“Fitness? Gross.”

“Wow. So, you’re going to just get all nasty and bulky?”

“You talk about Crossfit too much.”

“I bet I can outweigh you.”

To some, this isn’t a big deal. To me? It was.

I didn’t think that someone could be angry about Mike’s or my choice of being healthy and bettering ourselves. But, they were. Some hate it. Some mock it. Even on his photographs from the Competition, people made passive aggressive jokes about it.

In getting excited for Mike’s weight loss, the comments were mixed between cheers and jeers. Some people even pinned me about making it about his size and not his personality. The truth of it is, I married Mike at his heaviest. I am going to love him no matter what happens. But, I will not be shy about being proud of him.

That’s when I learned:

If people can’t support you bettering yourself, screw them. Never feel bad for bettering yourself and being healthy. You should never let someone’s poor choice of words stop you from achieving your goals.

If they keep it up when you tell them you’re not comfortable with their comments? Do you really want to surround yourself with those types of people?

It’s a hard lesson I had to learn when I started Crossfit. I have less friends than I did but I am happier because I have friends who are willing to cheer me on. You have to surround yourself with people who lift you up and not push you down.

Now, I know that there are people out there who don’t support our decision to be healthy. But, a lot of them kind of keep quiet about it. This is something I am fine with. You don’t have to be vocal in supporting me but you also don’t have to be vocal in not supporting me.

At the end of the day, just remember: Your body. Your choices.

You wanna be healthy? Do it.

You don’t wanna work out? Do it.

You don’t wanna eat healthy? Rock on.

You feel awesome in that dress you worked so hard to get into? Hell yea.

Ain’t my business.

To people who are rude consistently even after you express discomfort? Bye Felicia.

Week 7: Workout #Something

Back from NOLA! What a trip!

Here’s a teaser shot from the wedding I did for my friends.

I didn’t sleep the night before my flight (my flight was so early that sleeping was pointless) so I came home safely and got right back to the grind.

Yesterday, my stepbrother came along on our workout. It was 3 different workouts, of course, for Wacky Wednesday. 

15m emotm

  • 6 front squats
  • 12 weighted step ups
  • 54 jump ropes


6m amrap

  • 3 c+j
  • 8 lateral bar jumps


15m emotm

  • 50 battle ropes/slams
  • 15 slam balls
  • 15 med ball sit ups

So, first part? Easy. I mean challenging but easy for the most part. Second part? Got a little tougher. Third part – all of us were screeching and swearing. 

Running/walking in NOLA was great but it put me at a slight disadvantage with the barbell work. 

Either way, glad I went 🙂

Katy asked if I measured myself and I admitted I need to get on that. So, going forward, that’s my game plan.

Fuel Today: Craved a burger so badly. So, grass-fed beef, garlic hummus, and kale. 

Back in the swing of things!

Week 7: New Orleans

I am in The Big Easy!

I love this place so much. It’s alive and beautiful and the people here are wonderful. As stated previously, I am shooting a wedding today so it’s very exciting. The plus is that the wedding is tiny (12 people) and both the bride and groom are lax on photos so it’ll be a very low stress day.

So, my goal was to do 30 minutes of walking or running or biking. I got in yesterday and my friend Nathan took me around to the different sites and sounds.

Peter, Loa, Nathan

Peter is our groom to be! 

I got home last night and my feet and legs were raw as hell. Since I don’t have a bathtub at home (we have a standup shower) I took the opportunity for a soak. I don’t get to show off my Peter Pan feather often either so when I can, it’s pretty exciting.

When I woke up this morning, I checked my IPhone (it has a step counter auto-installed) and I did 9 miles yesterday.

NINE. No wonder my legs and feet were raw! It also didn’t help I wore flip flops, too.

I didn’t even realize it because we were laughing and dancing and just being with one another. I have justified this in that I don’t need to workout today (I planned Monday and Tuesday) as 30 minutes on the treadmill would warrant me half of that.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to use the facility. It’s 24 friggin’ hours! I am not big on machines but as Coach Carl says, I gotta make do! 

Then, I get back to Chicago on Wednesday morning. Should be pretty lovely the next two days.

Avocados and New Orleans

I  L O V E  avocados. I was doing some research online and I thought, well, can I put it in my protein shake?

Hell yes I can.

Matcha + Soy Peanut Butter + Half an avocado + Whey Protein + a splash of Agave + Almond Milk.


My calories were severely under yesterday. Not like, yay! Under calories! More like MyFitnessPal yelled at me for being under. So, I gotta put a little bit more care into my meals.


Next week, I am shooting a wedding in New Orleans. I am pretty honored as its for my friends Peter and Casey. Small wedding. But, tons of photo opportunities.

I told Coach Carl this and he simply told me to rock cardio (treadmill or bike) at the hotel gym. I am going to be running from multiple points and venues on Monday in heels so I’ll be rocking out the treadmill on Tuesday. I get back super early Wednesday and plan to keep going on my Athlete Zero workouts.

Yesterday’s workout was rough. I can push press 105# with no problem and I ended up going all the way down to 45# because my shoulders were burning so badly. What matters is finishing. Not being a hero.

I am currently waiting on Coach Carl to send me my workout for today. If he doesn’t, I have to do the Crossfit Lemont WOD and it is a doozy.

We will see what the day brings!